I always see you around, like a shadow. I wish I could leave the world of shadows I am of you, and you of me. I wish I could know your name. I wish I could be transported into your life; be a part of your life just by telling you my name.
A memory is created. How funny it is that language, names we give them meaning and connect them to something, to someone. I wish with me giving you my name at least you have a memory of me and connect it everytime I see you, and you me.
Sadly though...the mind is reconstructive and just as the sand and the tide, words and names are erased from the memory of the mind.
I just wish that I cannot depend so much on the name, or even my face, or even the body I occupy in which you see me complete. I really hope that what is transported into you is my feelings, my views, and my ideas.
I aspire too much for being a human being. Memories get lost and often erased from the mind with the passage of time, and buried with the creation of new memories, of new people in your life.
Stranger, I will try to leave this word behind, so distant, so unfamiliar, so disconnected from me.
I will make the strange familiar with speaking to you. I hope though that more than language connecting us, (your name) it is your presence in my life and my presence in yours; presence itself makes us close, graspable meaningful, real.
A flashing fear, comes…how can mere presence connect us, when we are like the stars in the universe, so vast and surrounded by many that it makes it difficult if not impossible to focus on one alone. Yes, the brighter outshine the rest but, what about those that their time has not come to shine yet…but about them that lose their chance because of time itself being a barrier which causes them to not be ready to shine when a worthwhile viewer actually approaches to appreciate them?
How strange it is all memories and we humans; we all yearn to leave an imprint in another’s heart, in the world of thought. Isn’t that aspiring for too much or aspiring for something impossible since time’s tide will erase it all?
All I know is that I will not die, my light, without the attempt of shining. All I know is that life itself is a risk that must be taken, and I am willing to step out from the shadows, from the totality of darkness, into the light of the world. I will risk rejection.
Sometimes though, it is better to imagine than to face the reality. How sweet is imagination! I imagine a world with you, adventures that you could not conceive of in my mind. If only they were real…but the reality is that they will never occur, you will be deceived when making the unknown familiar. You will always be though, my familiar stranger at least, if in the attempt I could not be a part of your life, at least you are a part of me with that title but someday this memory will lose its light in the universe, death with time.
Too much light hurts the eyes I know. Darkness is also restful for the tired sight.
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The ending lines is very gripping. You seem to be lost in space and want to escape into the shadow of your mind, so to be an objective observer. We have all had that feeling, but it takes those few who can fight through their own sinking mind. Don't allow doubts and misfortunes define your life, instead look at them as a possibility for something better. That is where the real work shines, your poems will shine.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Mario!! I barely saw this comment now that I logged in, am sorry for not responding earlier. Yes very true, though I seem to try and leave the world of shadows, in the end I am sunken back to it somehow, with the mind. Very true Mario, I should not let this define my life, it is painful and no one really deserves to live a life in pain. The only thing we have is hope, and without it, we are simply nothing. As the latin saying says, "while I breath I hope" while I am alive I won't stop hoping. Sorry for sounding depressing in the poem in the end, but I feel that like Nietzsche says, we are not admitting on how human we are, our natural instincts, and not admitting that we all go through pain and or are capable of hurting others. I feel that is why I write poems in a way, to try and open myself and as a way of admitting to the humane parts of all humans, all emotions, all lack of them, everything made up in life, including the pain. Though I do agree with you, I should view my pain in a perspective that it only can get better :) and the way to get better is by reflecting through it all. Though I agree, I should not lose myself in reflections and in the world of thoughts. I should make all my wishes a reality right? :) Thanks, your work shines too I love it! Thanks for the lovely comment! :)I really appreciate it :)
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